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Hitting da club, from a...

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For whatever reasona posse of pretty straight party girls seems to always have a gay guy in the mix. Gay guys, they're actually all just friends organically, rather than the alternative of a squad of girls having a gay around to fulfill the "best gay" role, which is kind of puke-worthy. Either way, the result is the same: From my personal experienceit's usually a pretty fun time, but there are a few things that stand out to a gay dude, parts of the nights that leave us saying "ohhhhh, I get it now" and "WTF, seriously?

See what I mean below. For the uber-heteros reading, a "kiki," as defined by the Urban Dictionary is "a party including good music and good friends, held for the express purpose of calming nerves, reducing anxiety and stress and generally fighting ennui" that can also be a verb, meaning "to party or to get overly excited catching up with your girlfriends. Basically it's a jam with you and your crew, usually involving drinking, talking shit about any and everything, and can apply to most semi-exclusive pre-drinks.

But while gay guys might have invented the term, you've seemingly perfected the kiki, what with your constant chit-chat, swigs of white wine, and ever present buzz of high energy Gay guys in 40 tunes. Well done straight women. Seriously though, I have never seen a group of individuals take more shots than when partying with a Gay guys of ladies. Straight men might boast about chugging beer, but you Gay guys seem to have gills specifically made for swimming through lakes Gay guys wine and vodka.

And it's not like you just go heavy at the pre-drink, y'all take it to the bar too, ordering shots on shots on shots. A part of me is usually worried, but a larger, alcoholic aspect of my being is brimming with pride, and the desire for another ounce of vodka, because your buying, right?

Some folks might rip on the ladies who wear small black dresses and high heels in winter, but I applaud you. No one is as committed Gay guys in you are when it's quite literally negative twenty degrees outside. There should actually be an Olympic sport called "walking up Gay guys in. Laurent street at midnight in 4-inch heels in the winter" and you would get gold.

No one else would even place. When your with a group of pretty girls, it's hard not to get in somewhere. In the hetero-world, you're the ideal patron, and I get the benefit of tagging along and skipping every line. Not that you didn't already know the bouncer anyway. Granted that a lot of clubs in the Village play shitty Top 40 remixes, but a legit queer event will usually have a pretty good DJ spinning. The same can't be said for most of the straight clubs I've been to.

Most of the time the music is a weird mix of 90's throwback with dubstep and EDM splattered in. One time, Soulja Boy's "Crank That" came on, unironically and it was the worst thing ever. The crowd went kind of nuts, mind you, but that just goes to show what's wrong with the music scene at far too many straight clubs.

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