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If you are thinking getting divorce think again

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We are all born into different cultures, families and values. Later on we go to college, get a job, some of us get married and we put on new identities related to education, work title, social status. The man I married was the father of my children and the owner of the company I worked for.

We ended up divorcing and a few years later, it became impossible for me to keep my job. So I sort of lost my identity twice within a three years period. After the divorce, I had the opportunity and freedom to become who I wished to be. I decided to take the chance to remodel my identity and use my experiences to build something new. I made up my mind to move from the city I had lived in the past 20 years and challenge myself to learn new things, meet new people.

I also wanted to put space between me and the place I called home we had built together and where his new wife had moved in. Stupid me thought that he was telling me that I was an asset to If you are thinking getting divorce think again company and that he still needed my skills. I was flattered, I felt important and I decided to stay.

Life went on, sweet and sour like it often is. They say there are no happy divorces and ours was no exception but somehow I thought we would stay friends enough. But all in all, I was happy to have a good job, a cozy apartment, enough nice persons to call friends and a wonderful, caring new companion.

To be honest, I felt it coming. Attitudes, atmosphere, rumors, a lot of changes and then the crack, a nasty argument and I was out of my working place in one day — after 23 years. I knew that losing a job is never easy and can cause more distress than just a shrinking income but I had never experienced it personally.

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It took me a few weeks to understand it was over, like for real. And that I was not on holidays. At If you are thinking getting divorce think again, I was relieved, I would never again have to face the hatred of the man I will always share parenthood of my children with. But, shortly after, I started waking up in the mornings with anxiety attacks.

There I was, fifty years old, having worked all my life in the family business, doing my share to make it grow from thirty-five employees when I started to almost six hundred when I left and now I would have to find out what to do instead. Being out of work was a terrible feeling, in certain ways I lost my grounding, my footing, my definition.

It gave me a sense of insecurity and made me question my place in this world. Where was I going? What was I good at? Who did I want to be? What would I do next? What would I do tomorrow morning at 8: Would I get up?

Would I stay in bed? I felt angry, hurt, panicked, rejected, and scared. I also tried to remember that many, if not most, successful people have experienced major failures in their careers and turned those failures around by learning from the experience, and trying again.

To create the new me, I sat down or went for long walks and wandered through some major soul-searching to discover what I truly like doing most. Because, after all, I know we become very good at doing what we love. I wrote my résumé ten times before recognizing the person in it. Trying to define who I was in a CV made me understand how much I valued being the boss of me.

More and more often I woke up thinking what a great opportunity it If you are thinking getting divorce think again to make a change, to do something different. Not necessarily better, but different, something that can inspire me to move forward, maybe a small business, a new education, or stay-at-home-for-a-while-and-write-my-book dream.

Our jobs are much more than just the way we make a living.

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They influence how we see ourselves, as well as the way others see us. Our jobs give us structure, purpose, and meaning. I am so grateful to have friends and family who helped me remember I was more than my old life, more than my old job.

I am also grateful for this experience, it will help me understand and help my clients if they ever If you are thinking getting divorce think again up in between jobs. And I am mostly grateful for the opportunity to try new things, like running my own little business.

If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time. Since childhood I have been warned about men being selfish sexist cheaters who are only after two things: Unfortunately I have seen men around me being and doing just that.

I have been in friendship and in relationship with a couple of them. I am not different from other women who want a partner to share good and tough times with. I long for intimacy, affection, good sex, lazy Sundays together with a soul mate. I want the same thing as everybody else but after three broken relationships, I had low expectations when it came to men.

Nobody told me that creating a lasting love story could only happen when I was ready to give and receive the kind of love that feels fulfilling to me. I was constantly expecting to be disappointed as soon as I would take of the pink sunglasses of falling in love. As weeks and months went by, I imagined our future together and came to the bitter conclusion that it would never look the way I desired it to be.

Was I realistic or was I sabotaging my relationships? And, of course, as a self-prophecy, the relationship would start to shrink. Love has that effect on people, it unveils our secrets, our ugly doubts, all the darkness we thought we had managed to hide away. There is nothing that will reveal you to yourself more than a love affair.

Two people can bring out the worst in each other when love has allowed their unhealed wounds to come forward and they can use what love taught them about their companion as weapons to destroy the person they once worshipped. We cannot heal our wounds before we know what hurts and why. We wait for that someone who will make us complete, who will bring out our better selves and, in the beginning, it really works. But then, we start taking it for granted and the magic stops.

And then we start believing once again that we are not worth loving because, Look! When it happened to me I would think: I wish I had my If you are thinking getting divorce think again set straight, I wish someone had told me that love is transformation, it opens the doors to the parts of us that need healing but we have to be prepared to do the job. Nobody can be our everything, no matter how much we and they want to be just that.

Like a magnifier, love makes everything grow, even our darker spots but it can also help us transform darkness into light if we are honest about wanting to heal and if we take responsibility for our process. Love can be the key but we have to open the door beyond The Crack and do the walking.

If you are thinking getting divorce think again am sure there is a wonderful garden at the end of the dirt road but it "If you are thinking getting divorce think again" courage and dedication to leave broken dreams and negative expectations behind.

I am walking that path now and, sometimes side by side, sometimes ahead of me and other times behind me, I have this wonderful man who learns to stay strong when I want to run away, who makes me feel safe even when he is afraid to lose me, who keeps on showing me love even when he sometimes doubt that I can love him back as much. And I am learning to give what I receive. We take turns, step by step, we drop our dark spots of fear and open some more to the love we want to give and the love we want to have.

Jag hämtar min bonusson efter skolan ibland när jag hinner i tid så han slipper vänta på bussen.

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